Dear Renaissance Woman,
A couple of years ago I was in high school and my English teachers had us write to pen pals (totally childish, I know) over in Italy. Although at first I didn't care about the assignment the guy that I got ended up being really cool. I mean we started talking about things that I have never told anyone, like the fact that I want to travel the world instead of going to college right after high school and capturing it with my camera. It's been over four years now and I think it's safe to say that if I am not in love with him already, I will be soon. The only problem is that I am pretty sure he thinks I am a guy. At first I didn't think about how someone might think that I was a guy because my name is Sammy, which is more commonly a girls name. But now I can tell that he does and I don't want to freak him out if I tell him, because he said he was coming to visit me over the summer and this might change his opinion of me or it might make things awkward if he doesn't feel the same way. What should I do? Tell him or just let him keep thinking of me the way he is?
Sincerely,
Secret Admirer
Dear Secret Admirer,
Trust me when I tell you I know EXACTLY how you feel. Orsino, the man I love, was once crazy about this other girl Olivia (who in my opinion was a complete wreck, no any more thanks to my brother), while I was in love pretending to just be one of his buddies in his court. You see my brother Sebastian and I were in this ship wreck and I thought he had drowned (which he didn't obviously). In order to protect myself and live a good life (it's hard for a single gal in Illyria, if you know what I mean) I decided to disguise myself as a man (not as hard as I thought it would be). The only problem came when, like you, I fell in love with Orsino and he thought me to be a man. Knowing that revealing myself would not work out well I "sat like Patience on a monument, smiling at grief". It was the most painful time of my life, losing a brother and watching the one person you love, love another. When I finally found out that my brother was alive the truth came out of who I truly was and I was able to able to say again how I "never shouldst love woman like to [Orsino]" only this time he understood what I meant. My advice to you is to simply spill it all out, the sooner the better.Your secret will come out evidently and it is better for it to have come from you then from another. O, and make sure you make it really clear, I told Orsino time and again that I loved him and he just didn't get it. Like I told him that "My father had a daughter loved a man/ As it might be, perhaps, were I a woman,/ I should your lordship" or to further make it clearer "I am all the daughters of my father's house", I mean how much clear can it get? If this guy feels anything at all for you then he will rejoice to know that you are someone that he can get to know even better as his girlfriend. If not, then it wasn't meant to be, you can still be friends if you want, but either way it's time to move on to the person who will love you in return.
Sincerely,
Viola
Historical side note: Viola a character in Shakespeare's play Twelve Night did indeed pretend to be a man, however during this time one "game" that was played during the twelve nights of Christmas was one in which people changed sexes. Also, Shakespeare wanted to make a place that would provided entertainment to the people on the last night (Twelve Night) and throwing a role reversal in which the audience knew her true identity but not the characters in the place was highly intriguing, and entertaining.
(All quotes come from Shakespeare's play Twelve Night).
Monday, April 7, 2014
You Get What's Coming to You... Or Do You?
Dear Renaissance Woman,
So all my life my parents have told me to "forgive and forget" but now I am having a hard time following it. My boyfriend of three years slept with my best friend and the last thing I want to do is forgive them, and I don't ever think I'll be able to forgive the pain and betrayal I feel. I just want them to hurt as badly as I do now. Is revenge really that bad? What about that whole "eye for an eye" thing?
Sincerly,
Seeking Revenge
Dear Seeking Revenge,
You think you have it bad. So random dude came out of nowhere one day and killed my beloved Sansfoy. There was no way I was going to let him get away with that, so I plotted my revenge. I tricked Redcross into thinking that I was poor and helpless and that he needed to "save" me. Then I made him fall so madly in love with me that he was oblivious to my true identity so that I could trick him into coming to the my house where Sansjoy (my boyfriend's brother) was waiting to kill him. Although, Redcross didn't die I don't regret my choice of seeking revenge. You should have seen the look on his face when he realized who I was, and that he ditched he pure, beloved Una for me. I say go for it, make them suffer for what they did to you. They've got it coming to them.
Sincerly,
Duessa
Historical side note: Duessa is also from Spencer's The Faerie Queen and represented the Catholic church. Which at that time was looked at as the filth and evil and corruptness of people. Although, Duessa would have thought she had "won" by tricking Redcross Spencer made it clear by the end that true faith (Una) and holiness (Redcross) always win out. As shown through her answer above, Duessa was very cunning and conniving and used her feminine wiles to trick Redcross for so long, but did not succeed on wining him over, or in the book trapping him in the dungeon of the House of Pride.
So all my life my parents have told me to "forgive and forget" but now I am having a hard time following it. My boyfriend of three years slept with my best friend and the last thing I want to do is forgive them, and I don't ever think I'll be able to forgive the pain and betrayal I feel. I just want them to hurt as badly as I do now. Is revenge really that bad? What about that whole "eye for an eye" thing?
Sincerly,
Seeking Revenge
Dear Seeking Revenge,
You think you have it bad. So random dude came out of nowhere one day and killed my beloved Sansfoy. There was no way I was going to let him get away with that, so I plotted my revenge. I tricked Redcross into thinking that I was poor and helpless and that he needed to "save" me. Then I made him fall so madly in love with me that he was oblivious to my true identity so that I could trick him into coming to the my house where Sansjoy (my boyfriend's brother) was waiting to kill him. Although, Redcross didn't die I don't regret my choice of seeking revenge. You should have seen the look on his face when he realized who I was, and that he ditched he pure, beloved Una for me. I say go for it, make them suffer for what they did to you. They've got it coming to them.
Sincerly,
Duessa
Historical side note: Duessa is also from Spencer's The Faerie Queen and represented the Catholic church. Which at that time was looked at as the filth and evil and corruptness of people. Although, Duessa would have thought she had "won" by tricking Redcross Spencer made it clear by the end that true faith (Una) and holiness (Redcross) always win out. As shown through her answer above, Duessa was very cunning and conniving and used her feminine wiles to trick Redcross for so long, but did not succeed on wining him over, or in the book trapping him in the dungeon of the House of Pride.
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Left Behind and Forgotten
Dear Renaissance Woman,
What do you do when your boyfriend leaves you? My boyfriend hasn't called, text-ed or been home for the past two weeks. It's like he dropped off the face of the earth. Do I assume things are over between us, do I dump him or wait for him to contact me? Is it something I did wrong?
Sincerely,
Left Behind
Dear Left Behind,
First, from the sounds of it there is nothing that you have done wrong. Trust me I know. I once dated a guy who thought that I cheated on him so then he left me, and cheated on me. When all I had done was go with him on his hero's journey to go kill a dragon. Guys can be so dimwitted. Trust me. That guy I was telling you about, he ended up dating this girl who was totally using him to destroy his soul. Talk about blind love. Sounds like your guy is similar. My advice is to just move on. Don't call him or text him. If he calls you polite inform him that you are no longer inclined to date him because you deserve to be treated with respect and not making contact with you for two weeks shows that he obvious is over your relationship too.
Sincerely,
Una
What do you do when your boyfriend leaves you? My boyfriend hasn't called, text-ed or been home for the past two weeks. It's like he dropped off the face of the earth. Do I assume things are over between us, do I dump him or wait for him to contact me? Is it something I did wrong?
Sincerely,
Left Behind
Dear Left Behind,
First, from the sounds of it there is nothing that you have done wrong. Trust me I know. I once dated a guy who thought that I cheated on him so then he left me, and cheated on me. When all I had done was go with him on his hero's journey to go kill a dragon. Guys can be so dimwitted. Trust me. That guy I was telling you about, he ended up dating this girl who was totally using him to destroy his soul. Talk about blind love. Sounds like your guy is similar. My advice is to just move on. Don't call him or text him. If he calls you polite inform him that you are no longer inclined to date him because you deserve to be treated with respect and not making contact with you for two weeks shows that he obvious is over your relationship too.
Sincerely,
Una
Historical side not: Una was a
character in Edmund Spencer’s The Faerie
Queen which was an allegory for many things, largely of which was how
Elizabeth 1 detested the Catholic church and in that time so did many others in
England. Una is not a real person and was meant to symbolize the one true faith
and her “boyfriend” was Redcross who represented holiness. Although separated from
“the faith” Redcross eventually sees the errors of his ways and returns to Una.
What's Wrong With Being a Woman
Dear Renaissance Woman,
What is up with men today? I applied for this great job, which I was fully qualified for but when I realized they would be paying me less because I was a women, I wanted to turn it down, but I could really use this job. I wanted to turn it down because I don't think it's right that so many women are being paid less than men for the same job, but I didn't want to be labeled as one of those "crazy feminists" or lose out on a great job. Queen Elizabeth, how did you manage to be Queen when there had been no true woman monarch before you? How did you know that you were qualified when men had been ruling England for centuries?
Sincerely,
Unsure Feminist
Dear Unsure Feminist,
What is it with men thinking that they rule the world? News flash! A ruler is not defined by their sex but by how they lead the people. We are not better than the people we guide. I am one of you, I fight alongside you. "For above all earthly treasures I esteem my people's love, more than which I desire not to merit." I do not look for your approval but rather to do what is right for all. Not to neglect the fact that men are important and that they have done a lot for our country they have fought for our freedom. However, this does not give them the right to try to take control of our lives. Women we are not to be ruled by men. We are strong, we are educated and we should be standing together. Now this does not mean that if you choose to take the job that you are going against what you believe but rather you are making a stand that you are qualified for it and that you deserve it. The longer you work the more you will be promoted, also if you do your best and go above and beyond what they are calling you to do then it shows your bosses that you should be payed more not because of your sex but because of your work. Do not be afraid to be you a strong WOMAN.
Sincerely,
Queen Elizabeth
Historical side note: Queen Elizabeth was a beloved ruler in part because of the way she spoke to her people. In speeches like "Speech to the Troops at Tilbury" and "The Golden Speech" she told her people that she did not view herself as higher than them, and would gladly fight along side them (which she never did though she did wear her army in show of her words). She was a great spokeswoman regardless of how well she carried out her promises to them, like "I myself will be your general, judge, and rewarder of your virtue in the field. (Both quotes taken from her speech "Troops at Tilbury").
What is up with men today? I applied for this great job, which I was fully qualified for but when I realized they would be paying me less because I was a women, I wanted to turn it down, but I could really use this job. I wanted to turn it down because I don't think it's right that so many women are being paid less than men for the same job, but I didn't want to be labeled as one of those "crazy feminists" or lose out on a great job. Queen Elizabeth, how did you manage to be Queen when there had been no true woman monarch before you? How did you know that you were qualified when men had been ruling England for centuries?
Sincerely,
Unsure Feminist
Dear Unsure Feminist,
What is it with men thinking that they rule the world? News flash! A ruler is not defined by their sex but by how they lead the people. We are not better than the people we guide. I am one of you, I fight alongside you. "For above all earthly treasures I esteem my people's love, more than which I desire not to merit." I do not look for your approval but rather to do what is right for all. Not to neglect the fact that men are important and that they have done a lot for our country they have fought for our freedom. However, this does not give them the right to try to take control of our lives. Women we are not to be ruled by men. We are strong, we are educated and we should be standing together. Now this does not mean that if you choose to take the job that you are going against what you believe but rather you are making a stand that you are qualified for it and that you deserve it. The longer you work the more you will be promoted, also if you do your best and go above and beyond what they are calling you to do then it shows your bosses that you should be payed more not because of your sex but because of your work. Do not be afraid to be you a strong WOMAN.
Sincerely,
Queen Elizabeth
Historical side note: Queen Elizabeth was a beloved ruler in part because of the way she spoke to her people. In speeches like "Speech to the Troops at Tilbury" and "The Golden Speech" she told her people that she did not view herself as higher than them, and would gladly fight along side them (which she never did though she did wear her army in show of her words). She was a great spokeswoman regardless of how well she carried out her promises to them, like "I myself will be your general, judge, and rewarder of your virtue in the field. (Both quotes taken from her speech "Troops at Tilbury").
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